Are we really doing this again?

It's been ten months since my Papa died from stage 4 lung cancer that we didn't know he had. He got sick on a bus trip with his friends the week before he died. Last night, Nanny came home from a bus trip with the same group of friends, and we watched as 2 medics and 6 firemen lifted her in a sling and carried her out of the bus to an ambulance. She had fallen and broken her hip. She asked to be taken to the same hospital where Papa died. Thankfully, they rejected her, and we dodged that bullet. Unfortunately, we were sent to downtown Atlanta at 10:30 last night...where we stayed until 4:00 this afternoon. I haven't slept in 36 hours. She has hip replacement surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning, and then who knows how much rehab.

I'm not sure what makes this harder. All of the memories that keep sneaking back in, or knowing that she's the only Grandparent that I have left.

Just Wanted to Tell You

Chrissy, I have been thinking about you and your family all night. I just wish I could be with you to support you through everything. Since I'm far away, I'm sending you my love.


Miss you.

Call me if you need anything!

Grammar Paper

Someone please check on me tonight. My grammar paper is due today, and I don't know if I will make it through.



Must finish paper.

Must not let grammar class ruin me.

Must continue on.

Rewind and Freeze

I think we should just give up on being grown ups and move to Narnia. Or perhaps find a time machine and go back to freshmen year and relive the best four years ever.

But since those options are pretty unrealistic, I suppose I'll go back to work on Monday with a smile for my kiddos. And spend as much time with Michael next week as possible. He leaves next Sunday for the Police Academy.

(two days later)

He leaves...if he can get over this flu. I'm kind of getting worried about him. He's had a pretty high fever, and hasn't held any food down for three days. Today, he can't even keep his medicine in. And of course, he doesn't want to be taken care of...but he can't get out of bed. Boys.

What To Do With Life

I realized today that I will take my final midterm tomorrow. This is quite possibly the last midterm I will ever take in my life, unless by some crazy turn of events I decide to go to grad school. The fact that graduation is looming over my head really hit home once I realized midterms were almost over.

Don't get me wrong, I am more than thrilled to graduate. Being done with school is a major accomplishment as well as a relief. It's just that I don't know what I am going to do post graduation. In the short term I plan to continue to work at TRU while I look for a "big girl" job, but I don't know what my long terms plans are. I am starting to freak out that I don't even know what kind of job I want to have. I have been told that I should act my age and take whatever job that sounds interesting to me. Apparently I have my whole life to figure things out and I should just do what I want to do at this point in my life. While I agree with that, it's hard to accept that I spent all this time in school just to get a job that has nothing to do with my degree. I don't want to feel like I have wasted time and money by going to college. At the same time neither do I want to take a job I hate just because it requires a degree.

Although I would love to write full time one day, that is a dream that is far off if not impossible. So for now I will need a job that pays the bills, but still gives me time to write on the side. Hopefully that can be a reality. Many people let their dreams fall by the wayside because of real life and I dread the idea of that happening to me.

If anyone out there on the internet knows what job I should apply for, please help. I am getting desperately scared that I won't know what to do in the near future.

Cough, Sneeze, Sniffle

I definitely miss living with Ashley. She was the best roommate ever! Especially when I was sick....which I am. All the time. Or that's what it feels like anyways. Matthew (Michael's brother) is home with strep, Michael is home with the flu, and I have something between an upper respiratory infection and the flu. Needless to say, we had a pretty lazy weekend. He bought me flowers (DAISIES) :) in my favorite colors, and three new beads for my pandora bracelet. And we went to dinner :) it was a very happy Valentines Day!

My Bad/ No Fun without Chrissy

Let's just get down to it, I suck. Yep, I promised a post every Tuesday and I fail on the third week. But I am only posting one day late... that's forgivable, right? I hope so.

Now down to business.

My life without Chrissy in it has been extremely awful recently. She always made sure life was fun and I have been missing that recently. Now, I will admit that this only partially has to do with a lack of Chrissy, the other part is that I just don't have any time for "fun." I am either working, in school, or both every single day of the week. With homework, taking care of the pets, and keeping the house together there is just no free time.

I would give almost anything to just have a day to hang out with people, especially Chrissy. On some level I just wish we still lived together. At least when we were living together we saw each other every day. Even if we were incredibly busy we had time to rant or rave about how our days went. Now we don't even text every day... that just blows.

Such is life, I guess.